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1. (b) Stand Strong Sister!

This is the key. Do you want the wedding of YOUR dreams? Or are you relatively happy if you get half the wedding that you want and half the wedding that other people think you should want?

If it’s the latter, well, okay then. You can use this book to keep you from feeling overwhelmed (by eating the elephant a bite at a time) and to help you know what questions to ask specific vendors.

The rest of the site, you won’t need. Because other people are more than willing to take over your wedding if you let them. You don’t have to put any attention or effort into getting people to bully you around to creating the wedding of their dreams.

It’s a little more effort (although about 90% of it is purely psychological effort on your part) to be sure that you get the wedding of YOUR dreams.


The Controllers

There are essentially two types of people who will try to take over your wedding, preventing the wedding of YOUR dreams. They are:

  • Family members (including soon-to-be in-laws)
  • Vendors

As you might think, handling these two types of "controllers" takes rather different approaches. Vendors are with you just for this wedding. Family you have to live with for the rest of your life!

You’ll find the topic of talking to family members (along with lots of other information) covered in this online wedding planning guide.

A third possible type of controller is a combination of the other two:

  • friends or family who are providing services for your wedding.

This can be a little trickier, because you’re both dealing with them as a vendor and planning to have a relationship with them for the rest of your life. This requires a balance of the strategies used with family members and the strategies used with vendors.

You’ll need to think about these different strategies to find the right balance between treating a particular person as a vendor who is a friend/family member vs. a friend/family member who is doing you a favor by providing something you’d normally get from a vendor.

1. (a) Eating that Elephant

Have you ever heard about how to eat an elephant? The answer is "One bite at a time." It’s the same with planning something as elephant-sized as your wedding.

Even if your wedding is going to be relatively small in terms of the number of guests you’ll invite or the number of vendors you’ll hire, planning a wedding is still an elephant. There are still many, many decisions that you have to make, and there are usually many other people (your beloved, your family and friends, and your vendors) with whom you must play nicely (but "firmly") .

One of the secrets to planning the wedding you’ve always wanted is to take it step-by-step and not worry about everything all at once.

To take a bite-by-bite approach to planning your wedding, you’ll find that this online wedding planning guide is an invaluable tool. Each category of this site presents an aspect of wedding planning and some suggestions on how you can best approach it.

The categories are organized such that you’ll make decisions about your wedding in the easiest order. No longer do you have to look at your list of 12,000 things to be accomplished and not know where to start. This online wedding planning guide tells you where to start. Then it tells you how to get from Step A to Step B and from B to C and so on. Work through the exercises on this site one by one, and you’ll find yourself planning the wedding you really want.